not my birthday, cake

Attention is a state that I constantly struggle with. The giving of attention is not a problem, but the receiving of attention is troublesome. Being an eternal pessimist means that my first conclusion is to assume that any attention is due to a negative reality. I shy away from being the subject of photos though I am working on this, birthday parties with myself as the guest of honor make me clam up, and all activities that result in going out in public where I may or may not receive stares pose an invitation for stress. Contrary to my nature, I accepted an invitation to speak as a Pinterest expert for the Social Media Alliance of Chattanooga. If having over 10,000 followers makes me an expert then I will gratefully concede. However, I rehearsed the line "I don't know what I am doing here" in front of the mirror a few times before heading out that morning. Even though I was a basket of nerves, it really wasn't all that bad and I think my expertise was pertinent. So I somewhat conquered my fear of attention, but that still doesn't mean I want to be the subject of a birthday party. This is precisely why I was grateful to shift my attention toward another's upcoming birthday. 

Last week was Eric's birthday. I had purchased tickets to a big concert in Nashville, but the artist cancelled the tour. In a panic to figure out another birthday gift, I resolved upon making a birthday cake from scratch. I've never made a cake from pure ingredients. I asked him what type of cake he would most like to consume. His single word reply..."CHOCOLATE." After giving him a few icing options he decided upon raspberry. Perhaps he didn't know that this meant his cake would be pink, but he is seemingly sure of his identity so I went ahead with the combination of Chocolate and Raspberry.
Friday was the birthday and we planned on having his family over for cake that evening, therefore I had to bake this cake Thursday night. I was up until 1:30 am finishing off the icing, which I admit I am not the least bit talented at decorating a cake with icing. However, I am talented at eating the icing with a spoon. Both the recipe for the cake and icing came from The Vanilla Bean Blog. Now I must admit to my buttercream icing addiction and I will conclude this post with the adverse of all anti-drug campaigns... "Just say YES...to Buttercream."

collaboration: SWIA

Though I worked in a field that demanded that I be comfortable in front of the camera, I am not the sort that enjoys being the subject of pictures. Usually photos must be force upon me, but this new collaboration with She Wore It Anyway takes the obligation out of force and implants the concept of compulsion. She Wore It Anyway, is operated by Jaime Smialek of Our Ampersand Photography. Her companionship is dreamy. Nothing forcible, just simply fun and her bright hair serves as a indication of her stellar personality. Below are a few images for our first of many fashion collaborations. Click over to her blog to see the rest of the post.

 

What I wore? Imogene+Willie Jeans, American Apparel top, Vintage scarf as a belt, Lotta from Stockholm clogs. 

What Jaime wore? Shoes from a thrift store in Florida, jeans from WalMart, top was given to me by a friend, flannel thrifted, bracelets from F21 and Nasty Gal, Hat from F21 and sunglasses from Target.

silk painting

It takes great effort for me to sit and be still. The stillness I refer to is inner quietness.  Meditating is something that requires great effort on my part because I am constantly thinking. Sometimes when I mediate it feels like I am walking a crazed dog that is pulling me franticly by the leash. My unquiet mind would be that hyper dog. However, while in India studying Mahayana Buddhism I found myself reaching that stillness. It felt dizzying; like I was sitting in a desk chair and someone was spinning me in circles at maximum velocity. Dizzying and swirling yet pure and calm. I tell you this because the image I had cultivate for this scarf was inspire by this outer body experience.
What is more graceful than a delicate pattern painted onto silk. I have always enjoyed using watercolors as a paint medium. It requires patience and restraint. Painting on fabrics demands a lot of the same technique. After I began painting on silk, it was a full on addiction. Sometimes it is like watching a chemical reaction. Lately, my interest in it has grown since I began my forge project for 2013. I am hoping to expand the scarves I make into a business so stay tuned.

Maintaining a tightly stretched fabric is very important when hand painting silk. Sometimes I use a a fabric stretching frame but the cheaper make shift use of a painting canvas frame with push pins works just as well if not better. I absolutely hate stretching my fabric, without fail something goes wrong or my fingers get raw and worn out. But immediately after the delayed success of the stretching step, I get to concoct the dye colors. This step always makes me feel like I am a witch mixing potions. Perhaps I re-watch my Harry Potter DVD collection too often.   

This scarf is rather basic. It has no resistance lines or pattern created with wax or gutta. But after a long break from painting on silk, I needed to keep it simple. However, there are fun and easy ways to create patterns without the resistance technique, my favorite of such is adding salt. Sprinkling salt onto wet dye draws in the pigments, which creates distortion in colors. I think it looks like a chemical reaction. 

taste and sound of love: a valentines post

Valentines Day has always been the blackened heart holiday for me. Perhaps my ill affection for February 14th stems from the sad events of past. Maybe it is because the candy associated with lovers is chocolate, of which I have little taste for. If the previous assertions haven't hinted, I'll plainly state that my Valentines Days have been uncoupled, flowerless, absent of chocolate and all together unattractive.

However, this year I am determined to celebrate right. I have now been married for almost two months, so this is our first wedded holiday together. About 4 weeks in advanced, I began scouring to find the perfect gift. I couldn't find anything to present to my mister that echoed my love into his ears. So I have made him a delicious morsel: Chocolate Charms with a hint of Coffee. His two favorite delights...chocolate & coffee. I altered the recipe found on the Martha Stewart webpage here. These are not terribly sweet cookies, but they have the texture of shortbread cookies so best serve them with a glass of milk.

My better half blesses me with perfectly curated mixtapes, that are actually in the form of CDs, every once in awhile. I am determined to do the same for him this holiday. Below is my love playlist dedicated to my mister.

traveling homebody

I have proclaimed that I am a traveling homebody. There's no doubt that I am most comfortable at home dining on chips and chewy candies. I'll take a frozen pizza over a crowded restaurant any day. But I have the constant itch to move and do. My restlessness constantly interrupts my homey nature. How to combat this conflict? Painting, baking, blogging. However the most rewarding activity I have discovered is taking scenic drives. Do I sound like a retiree? It feels like a mini trip, a much need escape without the necessary human interaction. Driving into the country seduces the romantic sentiment I have toward leading the simple life, which I know logistically I could never survive.

These conflicting ideals at play in: Rural Urbanite and a Traveling Homebody, only proves that we're all dynamic characters. My most recent outing was a short distance from my home, just a hop from Hamilton County over to Marion into central time zone. I took a drive into the mountains of Sequatchie Valley. Passing by farms and rustic barns, I dreamed up a life of simple existence hugging curves and singing along to Wanda Jackson. I danced with the idea of living in a barn, cozied up to a burning fire and eating pancakes. A world without my cell phone, stop lights or neighbors that swipe your trash can...this happen yesterday.

Enjoy my photos of the Tennessee  landscape. All images are from Marion County close to Ketner's Mill.

pattern-ing

By nature I am a reactionary person. I think most of us are. It is something I have had to train myself to refrain from. My first instinct is reacting or jumping the gun longing for results immediately. Sometimes this trait, commonly spoken of as impatience, can a good thing. Field case number one...cookies. Taking them out of the oven a minute early can lead to chewy soft goodness. Field case number two...jumping to action. When an idea pops in my head, I tend to jump into action. This tends to mean that it gets started rather than linger in my head until it is forgotten.

With this new endeavor, inks+thread, I have wanted to see result immediately. But I have had to adopt patience to cultivate the best collection possibly. Each of the patterns starts out as a watercolor, by myself or one of the other two artist contributors. By starting each pattern by means of a painting study they have room to build and evolve. I have grown to really enjoy this beginning. Don't get me wrong, I wish I had product to show off now. Soon enough...the samples are on their way.

Ode to Vermont: Maple Oatmeal Scones

My first visit to Vermont was in the Summer of 2005. In the picturesque Green Mountains, I fell in love with the state. I had been taken up there by friends of mine from the city. I don't know too many people in NYC that have vehicles, so when one of them offered me an escape to the mountains the involuntary response was to pounce at the concept. Everything about the city is draining, even the things you love about it. The cabin we stayed in was tucked into an overgrowth of ferns near the tiny village called Warren. Every liberal ideal seemed to be upheld in Warren...eco-friendly schools, farm to food mentality, skinny dipping in streams. There was a tiny general store, which played host to all the locals and visitors alike. To me it was a utopia. Retreating back to a simple life, free from vain expectations.

Due to this developed affection toward the state of Vermont, I decided that I would seek schooling at the University of Vermont. I knew that I was going to rush threw school and a simple existence would be exactly what I would need to focus my mind on learning. Degree seeking wasn't my idea. Perhaps it was a society standard or the pressure the parents were sending my way as all my peers were heading into masters programs. Nevertheless I registered myself in classes at the University of Vermont in my 20's to get my Bachelors degree then hightail it out of there.
I am not a sit down in a classroom and absorb material type of gal. Sitting still is not a strong skill of mine. Following the masters of contrary, I lean towards anarchy. Therefore I pursued my Bachelors degree on the fast track and successfully so. In less than two years, I had finished my degree against the counsel of the department head. With the aid of all things caffeine based in copious amounts, I got through long nights in the library...treacherous walks home in what can only be described as Antarctic conditions at 4 am. How did I do this?

I know I have selective memory, but my time in Vermont is of the utmost hazy variety. I moved there hoping to create idyllic Utopian experiences, instead I rushed through being to get to the prize. The prize was a degree in an area that will never lend itself to a career for me at least. I should have paused...been there. Even if there was on the edge of being frostbitten. I should have gone apple picking, had pancake breakfasts with gross amounts maple syrup, and gone skiing just once.

So here is my ode to my lost time in Vermont...Maple Oatmeal Scones built off of Sarah Kieffer's Roasted Apple Scone with Ginger Recipe from The Vanilla Bean Blog. I am not a trusted baker, in fact I rarely use measuring cups or keep track of time so I am not going to post a recipe. But if you would like an outline of the recipe I will gladly share, so just let me know.

gods...gems...genesis

Janus, the two-faced Roman god, represents new beginnings and transitions. His two heads metaphorically represent him peering into the future and past while he is often associated with bridges, doorways and time.  Romans honored Janus in the month of January as they transitioned into a new year. I was reminded by a friend during the hype of 12/21/12 and the end of the Mayan calendar as well as the I Ching; that perhaps it wasn't the end of time but rather the end of an era. Prolifically speaking the passing of December 21, 2012 could in fact be a  transition in our minds rather than a grand physical destiny or end. Perhaps we are welcoming the era of humanity. We could all use a little more compassion whether it be to our sweethearts, friends, or our interactions with complete strangers.

A new year to me is simply like a rebirth of the mind, a micro-genesis so to speak. With this new year, I want my life to reflect transitions instead of an escalating stream of to do lists or goals. I want to meditate on my actions and reactions to find ways to make them positive. I want to be aware of the difference between want vs need. I want time to be the most precious entity of my life rather than things.  I want to create opportunities for myself to be the master of my time.  I want to start making more... jewelry, art, scarves, whatever; but I simply must use my hands.

The first of my project is a 24kt vermeil necklace with a moss agate bezel set pendant. Moss agate is said to strengthen one's bond with nature while promoting understanding and communication. Continuing with the rebirth theme of this post, moss agate is believed to help those who have long-established habits or dependencies to be free of them.

*note: this post was previously on Tales of a Tumbleweed

Preface

This is a new endeavor. Previous to starting this blog, I had been posting on Tales of a Tumbleweed. Since I am about to launch a scarf collection, inks+thread, I thought it best to create a blog format to run in conjunction with the business.